Growing bride prices land rural families with crippling debt Photo:CFP Picture a stack of 100-yuan ($15.8) bank notes. Imagine 1.6 kilogra...

Growing bride prices land rural families with crippling debt

Photo:CFP

Picture a stack of 100-yuan ($15.8) bank notes. Imagine 1.6 kilograms of them, or 3.3 jin in Chinese measurements. That is what the parents of brides set as a bride price for prospective husbands.

This situation came to light a few days ago when a netizen complained on a forum that getting engaged in Juancheng county, Shandong Province, was difficult when bride prices range between 44,000 ($6,978) and 68,000 yuan. This post was echoed by another who told of a bride price being set at 3.3 jin in 100-yuan bank notes, worth around 136,000 yuan, according to China National Radio.

This fact remains disputed in various media reports, but the "story," which triggered heated discussion, is close to the true situation. Bride prices, paid by men to their future in-laws, are soaring nationwide, especially in areas where unmarried women are becoming scarce.

Many poor rural families face a very tough position when their sons come of marriageable age, but they are unable to afford such a financial burden.

Crippling debt

Overwhelmed by this huge debt, Tan Huixiang found herself at a loss for words when her son and daughter-in-law came to her on their wedding day in late February.

"The bride price for the engagement alone cost over 30,000 yuan, the subsequent wedding ceremony left us in serious trouble," said Tan, a mother from a poor village in Yunnan Province.

Tan, 45, said bride prices have risen several times over the past few years, but that her family's income, dependent on agricultural production, has remained almost unchanged.

"Her family was still very unsatisfied. They said the price could even reach over 100,000 yuan if she chose to marry someone in her hometown in Guizhou," said Tan. She added that she had borrowed money from all relatives and friends available.

Zhai Mingxin, 29, from Yingkou in Liaoning Province, had an even more bitter experience.

Zhai was going to marry a local girl in November last year but had to call off the wedding after a dispute with her parents.

"Her parents charged me 100,000 yuan along with some gold jewelry, threatening that I could not marry their daughter if I failed to satisfy their requirements," said Zhai. He told the Global Times that the usual amount in his area is 50,000 yuan.

"I don't care about the money, I just feel sick at the way they handled this matter. It made it seem as if they were selling their daughter," said Zhai.

He added that he thought her family was trying to save money to pay for a future bride price for their son's wedding, as many families do.

Women getting scarce

Though she is loaded down by the largest debt she has ever had, Tan still feels relieved that she made sure her son, born in 1990, found a wife. She expected this to be a difficult task due to the small number of girls of a suitable age.

"The competition is so fierce that girls remaining in the village would be snatched away at around 16," said Tan.

Zhou Xiaozheng, a sociology professor at the Renmin University of China, told the Global Times that apart from an increasing worship of money, an unbalanced sex ratio had sent prices soaring.

According to National Statistics Bureau, although the sex ratio of newborn babies has fallen back to 117.78 boys versus 100 girls last year from the 2008 peak of more than 120:100, there will still be about 24 million males of marriageable age more than their counterparts by 2020.

This situation is exacerbated in rural areas, where a deeply-rooted culture of seeing sons as superior to daughters prevails.

Zhang Yi, a researcher with the Institute of Population and Labor Economics at CASS, said population flow also worsens the situation.

"Most women choose not to go back to their hometown after years of working in cities, leaving lots of surplus men at home," said Zhang.

Tan said most girls leave home to earn money at an early age and very few would come back to marry a local. However, most men return as the price of buying an apartment and settling down in a city is almost impossible for most migrant workers.

Zhai said the markup was partially due to the rising living costs. It could also be because of brides' families comparing themselves with neighbors and not wanting to lose face by receiving a lesser bride price.

Price of wedded bliss

Although this tradition is millennial, the rising prices are drawing more and more criticism.

A Sina Weibo poll revealed that 74.8 percent of respondents objected to bride prices, saying marriage was not a business transaction in which a daughter was sold like a product.

About 14 percent favored the trend, believing a bride price is a folk custom and the amount should keep pace with the times.

Zhang from CASS put the blame squarely on the widening urban-rural income gap. He said that the only solution is for the gap to narrow, which will make people feel it is not shameful for their daughter to marry a man from a rural family.

Thankfully, true love still exists. Zhai said that his hometown still saw weddings where no money was exchanged.

"I believe there will be more and more enlightened parents like this who will not put a value on their daughter's happiness," said Zhai.